more women “of color” seem to be heading this direction…
If you are a black man, chances are you have a black sister or aunt out there somewhere, and definitely a black momma too. If any or all of the aforementioned people are family members of yours, then you’ve also seen the dreaded “turban”, “scarf”, “bonnet”, “headwrap”, or my personal favorite: the “Tupac bandana”. That’s right; contrary to popular belief and TV, black women don’t just go to sleep and then wake up looking like they’re ready to hit the club. If they care about their hair (and they ALL care about their hair) they’re wrapping it up in some sort of contraption in order to preserve their style and stop the cotton pillow case from stealing all of their hard to come by and very precious moisture.
Now, when I met “her” (my wife of 7 years) she had long, down to her mid back brown hair with auburn highlights, and it had its own “flow” that just moved paradoxial to whichever way her head seemed to turn. I was literally hooked right there. An absolutely beautiful girl with fabulous hair. She went to get it done bi-weekly and the price was outrageous, but she looked so good that you wouldn’t catch me complaining about it. The price of beauty ain’t cheap I suppose.
Fast forward to about one year ago… we are heading out of the country for a vacation and she decides that enough is enough! She’s sick of getting a perm! It’s not good for her hair! it’s toxic! She can’t get in the pool! She’s getting braids for the trip, and after that she’s going natural. No more perm ever again. I thought it was kind of drastic, but what do I know about hair? Do whatever makes you happy baby, I support you. But do I REALLY support her?
Since I was a boy, I always preferred long, straight hair to curly or kinky. I’m not sure if that is some deep rooted prejudice against my heritage, or if it’s just whats attractive to me (I’m leaning towards the latter) but that look is what I equated with beauty. Her choice to forgo that style from here on out is moving in complete opposition to that preference. Lately, nights that used to be spent watching Basketball or the T.I Show (guilty pleasure) are replaced with conversations about her “hair journey” and watching youtube videos about women who have done the same thing. She’s all in, even though she really doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing. I guess I can’t really fault her though, she’s doing the same thing that I do when I find a new passion: research it relentlessly until I have found enough information to attempt it (like blogging), then jump in with both feet.The point I’m attempting to make here is: The old adage “happy wife, happy life” is definitely true. Guys, whether you agree with your ladies’ choice of hairstyle or not, you owe it to her to be supportive of her choices. The “afrocentric” look isn’t really my ideal pick, but it’s not my hair. And she’s still fine, just trying something different. Who am I to impede that?
Yours Truly,
Mr. H
follow on twitter @thecropscream @afreshdemeanor
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