Remember your FRIENDS? The guys you grew up with, went to elementary school with, played ball with, got arrested with, and did a host of other memorable (and forgettable) things with? The guys who were supposed to be your groomsmen? Your best friends, ride or die buddies. Your BROTHERS. You slept at their house and they at yours. You exchanged secrets that up until this day, not another human knows about. It was never supposed to change; always be like the summer between senior year and college. Except, it DID change. He got married and you got married. You had a few kids but he never did. You graduated and started a career, he kind of floated between jobs he hated. Time passed and you talked less and less. He moved out of state to be closer to her family and grew a beard. A weird beard… But I digress.
Time elapsed and your daily conversations about any and everything became weekly conversations. Those weekly check in sessions became monthly and felt forced, because really, you had nothing to talk about. Finally you got to the point that you really don’t talk at all. The part that is interesting is that this doesn’t bother you. And you feel guilty. Really guilty. Because you were supposed to be friends forever. Only you couldn’t be, because it’s too hard. To maintain a relationship for the long haul (think marriage) it takes commitment on both people’s part and a lot of hard work. Should one of the parties involved (you OR him) decide that you aren’t going to give maximum effort, then you cannot succeed.
Small changes in a perfect relationship can have major effects. One person move away? Game changer. Somebody get a serious girlfriend? Game changer. One of you GROWS UP before the other? Potentially catastrophic. Once circumstances and environments change, it only stands to reason that associates would change too. Do not be naive to not recognize this and adjust accordingly. That’s not to say that there is any love lost between you and your friend, just that things have changed and both of you need to adapt. It is unmanly and uncivilized to start acting sensitive about it. He’s still your boy, but when you grow up, it may be unrealistic to talk every day. And drink grape quarter waters in your tree house. Don’t worry, you guys are still cool! Any man worth his weight knows that adjustment is the flavor of life and even though we hate it (men are creatures of habit), it is inevitable. Don’t take it personal, because it’s not. It’s life. Nothing more. And if it is more then your boy should let you know.
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