A key component to having successful relationships is having realistic expectations. With that being said, the following advice was given to me by a very wise man, and any seasoned man that you know can verify its truthfulness: Women expect men to change, but they don’t. Men expect women to stay the same and they also don’t. What does it mean though? Well, at it’s most basic application it means that while people can mature and grow, if fundamentally a guy is a jerk, he’s always going to be that. To think that you can change who someone is at their core requires much more than them loving you. It requires them WANTING to make that change. You dont have any control over it. Maybe some influence, but no real power. He’s going to be who he is. Period.
Conversely guys, let’s say you find a perfect lady, settle down and start a family. At the time you guys met she got her hair done weekly, laughed at all your jokes, liked to stay out late and weighed 118 lbs. You figure that she would always be these things because that’s how she was when you met and if that wasn’t really her then it would be considered false advertising, right? RIGHT? Wrong. Very wrong. Because that really WAS her. But this proverb and the advice was about the CHANGE. Women change. We don’t want them to, but we’re powerless to stop it. If your girl has 2 kids with you, works full time, and manages to keep your house from imploding, it’s going to be hard to maintain that 118 lb frame and the late nights. Fact is, most women gain weight after marriage, and definitely after kids. The parties and jokes were great before when you had no responsibility, but now? Now you farting without excusing yourself and getting fired AGAIN and not calling when you’re going to be late aren’t near as funny. Women change. Expect it.
Now, is there a point to this this proverb- turned “rant”? Well sure there is. The point is that change is part of relationships, depending on which role you play in said relationship. If you keep your expectations realistic you have a much greater chance of being successful and keeping your demeanor fresh.
Sincerely Fresh,
(We Back!)
Follow on Twitter @thecropscream @freshdemeanor
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