If anyone ever needed a vacation it was me. Life was chewing me up. It wasn’t anything major or catastrophic that occurred in my life. But the monotony of life was draining me of all energy. I felt as if everyday I was just some robotic apparatus working on an assembly line. Work. Eat. Sleep. The same old two step to one blaring monotonous rhythmic track. So seven days in the Florida sun which is approximately 1150 miles away from work and everything normal seemed so ideal.
Men aren’t supposed to complain. We shouldn’t cry, be afraid, or indecisive. Men are expected to be strong, fearless, and steadfast. But for such high expectations we sure do live in a crappy world. Crap that stinks and clings to you. The best parts of being a man. I kept asking myself that question on my flight down to Florida. I enjoy being a man. But it cannot be overlooked that men are supposed to deal with a lot. I remember my mother telling me a man should work all day and all night. My father instilled in me a strong sense of responsibility and accountability. But the pressure that comes with it I didn’t fully understand. I understand now that I have a family and even though I’m not a father I worry. I watch my parents get older and I wonder how will I take care of them in 25-30 years. My nephew was born and as I held him and looked into a face that was similar to my own I felt a strong need to protect him.
I dove into a pool of water that was the perfect temperature. I sunk all the way to the bottom of the pool. The submersion was refreshing. It’s labor day and the resort was having a pool party. It was buzzing with music, food, and people who were in the best possible mood. I met a guy named Andy. He was a friendly guy from New York around Staten Island. He had a thick New York accent. He was an older man in his early sixties. I asked him if he was vacationing with family. He nodded “well sorta”. “I’m here with my brother”. Cool I thought my brothers and I have planned to take a similar trip for the past few years. However Andy went on to explain that his brother was actually his brother in-law. The guy had married his sister who died and Andy’s wife had died as well. “Yeah I know kinda pathetic, right? Two miserable widowers vacationing together.” But really I was impressed and admired the guy. I’m sure his brother doesn’t perfectly replace the companionship of his wife. His children are older and live out-of-state. But here he is still living life. He still is going places, being friendly, and enjoying life. He went on to explain his brother in-law was also taking time to visit his brother who is in a nursing home. “Kid did every drug possible in the 70’s and 80’s”. “He really screwed himself up”. The guy’s poor brother apparently broke his hip and this is the first time the guy has been able to visit him. Their mother died they only have each other left but one lives in New York and the other in Florida. “He does the best that he can to get down here and visit him”. “But the guy has a full-time job back in New York”. The best parts of being a man.
I notice a guy with dreadlocks at the other end of the pool watching his children swim. I wave at him and ask him how he’s enjoying his vacation. His name is Norman and he’s from Barbados. “The home of Rihanna”, I say. He laughs and nods. This is the second week of his vacation. The first he spent in Orlando. He owns a software company. This is his first vacation in seven years. “It’s hard to leave work for this long”. I get the sense that even though he’s on vacation he’s distracted. His company employs nine people. He’s worked hard to get where he is for his family. But now employing nine people he feels responsible for each of them as well. The best parts of being a man. His son calls out, “Daddy watch me”. He pauses in talking to me and watches as his son jumps into the pool. “Good one”, he says with a smile.
There was about two days left in my vacation and I started having that feeling of needing to work. I’m not one of those guys who is all about work and no play but I certainly understand that work is necessary. I’m up each day Monday through Friday by 8AM to fill my place in the working world. I have to two friends who have recently lost jobs. While they don’t complain, at least to me, I know they do whatever is possible to take care of their responsibilities. It is what men do. I also know they’re view on it is eventually something will give. They’ll bounce back. They’re resilient. It’s how men are. Every man has his own challenges, difficulties, and reasons for not sleeping at night. But no man is willing to trade his problems for another man’s. We all deal. We all bounce back. It’s two of the best parts of being a man.
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